


The Mighty Fall

by eotteokeos



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Multi, Seongwoo's no homo agenda is ruined
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-03-06 11:49:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13410651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eotteokeos/pseuds/eotteokeos
Summary: Seongwoo is sure he's straight.At least, he was.Until, Hwang Minhyun happened and all things turned into chaos and he might just die.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the huge amount of grammatical errors, i usually skim once and post it lol
> 
>  
> 
> This was supposed to be a drabble then i decided it'd be a one shot that may or may not have 3k words. When i made this draft it was 11.9k... now that i finalised it, it's close to a 13.8k mess. What the hell
> 
> twt: @eotteokeos

Seongwoo is sure he is straight.

 

At least, he _was_.

 

Until about eight months ago when his inevitable downfall to heartbreak wasn’t just right around the corner, the object of his fascination laughing at the other side of the door as the other members joining in on whatever fun they were having.

 

He gathers up the last bit of energy he had, too tired from filming and trudges towards the bed. He loved his job, but the fatigue that comes after is taking a toll on his body and he’d really just want to have all the rest that he could get—the bonus is that he doesn’t have to act like he wasn’t having the biggest problem of his entire existence.

 

Sighing, he ruffles his head with his towel, wishing that his problems could dry up along with the water on his hair, not noticing the door opening as he does. “Hey,” A voice startles him from his thought, the voice he had a love-hate relationship with. “You okay, there?”

 

He looks up from the floor to concern-laced eyes, the other’s brows scrunched together as he looks down at him from his position.

 

Hwang Minhyun and his full glory was in the center of his room, his gray sweatshirt rolled up on the sleeves and his dark sweatpants loosely hanging on his body. He wasn’t wearing anything on his face, his bags darker than it usually is and his hair all over the place but Seongwoo thinks that he looked absolutely breathtaking.

 

Damn, when did he become such a sap.

 

“Uh,” Seongwoo starts, cursing himself at how stupid he sounded. “Yeah. Just a little tired.” He throws him a smile hoping it would save him from the embarrassment. When was it ever this embarrassing? He’d walk around naked in front of him—back when he hadn’t realized that he had the most beautiful smile—before but now he couldn’t even look at his eyes for more than a couple of seconds.

 

Minhyun hums in response and Seongwoo flinches at the gentle hand that settled themselves on his damp hair, lightly ruffling it. And without another word, the other turns on his heels and walks away, only turning back when he’d slightly opened the door. “You should go to sleep, I’ll tell the kids not to bother you.” he says with a smile before he exits the room, leaving Seongwoo alone with his dilemma.

 

He’s definitely fucked and he knows it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo knew he was popular.

 

When he watched the first episode of produce 101, he knew he was going to be popular with the ladies. His smooth, lines and his outgoing personality was the talk of many. Even BOA had complimented him for his skills and good-looks. His friends had told him he was definitely going to make it.

 

It all the more confirms it when he’s chosen as the center of Sorry Sorry team 2 which had been chosen by Minhyun himself. Back then, he didn’t think it was any weird that he’d look at Minhyun far too long to be considered average, after all, besides himself, Minhyun’s face was something he’d like to be born with in another life.

 

But thinking back, Seongwoo must have been pretty dumb—he still is—when he’d think the anger rising within him whenever girls and boys alike throw themselves at the latter was just him being jealous of Minhyun’s rising popularity. Seongwoo was handsome, yeah, and he was humorous too but Minhyun did not have to do anything fancy in his dance or his steps to make girls stop and stare at him.

 

He’d remember going down the stage when they first performed Energetic at their showcase, some lucky fans in the backstage asking for photos, when he’d confirmed that Minhyun was the visual of the group—most fans asking for his photograph than any other members. Of course, not including Daniel and Jihoon, but they’re another story that Seongwoo couldn’t be bothered to think about.

 

 _Seriously_ , how had he not noticed his longing for the other was beyond him.

 

Seongwoo had thought that maybe it was because Minhyun was a man, much like he is. He was so used to holding only women that he didn’t think it was possible for him to like someone of the same sex. Or maybe it’s because of the fact that Minhyun was the exact opposite of him. Whereas he liked drinking beers, Minhyun would prefer to sip on some cider or water, hating the taste of the drink. He recalls how Minhyun couldn’t keep his composure when they had filmed the hite beer cf.

 

He basked in the admiration of girls, saving their numbers in his phone and winking at them whenever girl groups would call his name from backstage, Minhyun chooses to bow at them politely, an apologetic smile on his face as he rejects another move from one of the girls.

 

Seongwoo _needed_ to feel loved in order to improve, Minhyun didn’t.

 

Seongwoo sometimes thinks to himself that Minhyun is unfair. He was everything that girls wanted and everything that guys would want to be but he cages himself down with his low self-esteem and set-backs from before he joined the survival show.

 

Really unfair how Seongwoo feels like his breath is taken away whenever he’d smile at him.

 

Seriously, when had he changed from liking girls to liking Hwang Minhyun is beyond him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo shuffles out of the room with the other members, his face blank as Jisung yells at him to hurry up. They had a meeting along with the planning team that they will be having a comeback and as much as Seongwoo loved how their fans wanted to see them again, he couldn’t help but choke at the idea that he would be acting.

 

Acting together with Minhyun.

 

He feels someone drape their hand on his shoulders and he looks to his side to find Minhyun’s face closer to what he’d expected. “I’m in your care.” The other chuckles, “Teach me how to act.”

 

He was sure he was going to have a breakdown.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo doesn’t know when it at all started.

 

He was pretty sure, however, that when Nu’est had entered the halls of produce 101 audition, the only thing that he’d bothered to even put his attention to—because, hell, he was nervous—was the face of someone more handsome than anyone he’d seen.

 

Of course, there were a lot of handsome men like his bandmates. Jihoon, for example, had made the entire of Korea vote for him till the end of show, never going down below top 3—his features making him the object of envy. Jinyoung was also a sight to behold, his face sculpted to perfection and his skills earning himself a place in Wanna one.

 

However, Minhyun was different. The latter only needed to tilt his head and it will be all over for you. He was like a beacon—too close and you’ll fall.

 

Or die.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo shouldn’t have been surprised when Jihoon opens the door to their shared room—Daniel was off to filming and Jisung was probably taking a bath—and locking it as he turns to him, sitting on the edge of the bed opposite to him.

 

“You need to stop looking at him like he’s some sort of unattainable object.” Seongwoo doesn’t need to ask what or who he was talking about. Closing the tab of twitter he’d created to look through posts related to Wanna One, he raises himself from a lying position and looks at the younger in the eye.

 

“Am I that obvious?” He asks, worried. He could swear that he had Wanna one fooled, he wasn’t chosen to act for nothing, after all. “Like the sun.” Jihoon answers, Seongwoo bites on his lower lip a little too hard, “At least to me it is. You can’t fool me, I’ve acted way longer than you.” He sighs in relief at the knowledge.

 

“You don’t think I’m disgusting?” he looks at Jihoon cautiously, waiting for the anger and disgust that he expected but Jihoon furrows his brows at him, his face in a slight scowl as he answers. “You seriously need to pay more attention to other people than Minhyun-hyung,” He stands up from his position. “I’m bisexual.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo recalls when he’d cried for the first time.

 

The memory is quite vivid in his head—how he’d first broken down since he started the survival show. It was past four a.m. in the morning, the halls were close to empty and the practice rooms were deserted, the trainees shuffling to their rooms to get at least an hour of sleep before they wake up yet again to train.

 

Sometimes he wonders why exactly was he trying so hard. He was losing sleep and weight unhealthy, his eye bags couldn’t even be masked by layers of foundation that they had to put on every day to appear adequate enough on the little screen time they are given, he hasn’t seen his parents, and he couldn’t even do the normal things most people his age were doing.

 

Sometimes he really just wants to give everything up.

 

But then he steps on stage.

 

He hears the crowd’s cheer and sees the smiles on their faces as the show ends and he can’t help but embrace every aspect and baggage of what comes after because this is what he wanted. This is why he was trying so hard, what he was best at.

 

Entertaining people with his skills and loving the reaction of many. He knew he loved it, that was why he was trying so hard.

 

But sometimes Seongwoo just can’t help but feel the burden of everything. He remembers sneaking to have a look on twitter for the fans reaction and at first they were complimenting him, how his voice stable or his dancing was great. And then he stumbles upon the heaps of negative comments he had received since the show started. How he was ‘trying too hard’ and how he was bribing his way to the top and the more he scrolled down, the more he wanted to read and hurt himself.

 

Until one day the physical and mental exhaustion hit him and he couldn’t hold it in, all the frustrations releasing in his eyes as he hugs himself in the corner, letting his sob echo through-out the deserted room. He was frustrated and annoyed at himself for lacking in a lot of things. He wasn’t a fast learner like Daniel and he definitely couldn’t hit the notes like Jaehwan did and maybe Seongwoo really did think he was useless, maybe he was only chosen because they knew he’d suck at it and maybe he would even be eliminated and and and—

 

“Seongwoo?”

 

Seongwoo flinches at the sound of someone calling him and he slowly raises his head up to look at the door where the light was coming from, a head peaking in yet he couldn’t see who it was. Flailing, he wipes the tears that were continuously streaming down his cheeks and tries to put a smile on his face as the figure approaches and finally, he sees who it is. With only the lights from the windows illuminating the room, Seongwoo could see the worry in Minhyun’s face and he doesn’t know why he cried so much that night that it even panicked the usually calm Minhyun.

 

Maybe it was because Minhyun looked at him like he was _really_ concerned as a friend and not just as someone who he’s competing with, or maybe because Minhyun crouched down to his level, his eyebrows almost joining as he asks him what was wrong, or maybe when Minhyun had stayed with him until he calmed down, his hand patting Seongwoo’s head as he tells him stories about Nu’est.

 

Whatever it was, Seongwoo decided right then that he could depend on him.

 

That day, he mastered the dance and even got a praise from the teacher.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Wait,” Seongwoo scrunches his brows in confusion, “Do I just throw him over my shoulder?” He looks at the padded floor then to the coach who was nodding at him before he turns his head to Minhyun who was just as confused as he is.

 

Seongwoo positions himself in front of Minhyun and tightens his hold on the other’s waist and collar, gathering every bit of strength he has on his skinny body and throws him towards the floor. They go down ungracefully, Minhyun’s body bent in awkward angles and Seongwoo has to hold his breath, his face too close to Minhyun’s.

 

“That wasn’t so bad.” Minhyun laughs, his eyes crinkling and Seongwoo may have thought that yeah, that wasn’t so bad. “Okay,” The coach started, “do that ten more times and exchange.”

 

Scratch that, Minhyun was adorable but the man was heavy and he really couldn’t keep himself together every time their faces were inches apart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo doesn’t understand how it went from wanting to befriend the resident pretty boy to actually _wanting_ him.

 

He doesn’t understand how one moment he wanted girls to fawn over him, going to clubs during his earlier years and to wanting to be the object of _someone’s_ affection. Seems really cringey and everything that isn’t Seongwoo but here he was trying not to seem too eager when the manager had told them that Minhyun and him can room together.

 

He remembers how shameful he was during the early stages of his downfall, blaming everyone around him, how he’d avoided him some time during produce 101, just a little past the position evaluation and before the concept evaluation. He didn’t know what he felt back then, his jealousy from Minhyun getting closer to everyone but him getting the best of him.

 

There was one night after elimination where everyone was shaken and emotional. He was feeling a little out of it, his heart still not calm from the ranking. He was in 5th place but who was to say that he would remain in this rank till the end of the show?

 

When Hyunbin had congratulated him, his heart on his sleeves as he cries out in relief, he couldn’t help but tear up a little. All the effort they did for their performance, how the fans loved them as a group—dubbing them as the justice league—and all included in the top 59, came crashing in on him. He was ecstatic and he couldn’t’ help but be thankful for the one who chose them.

 

Minhyun.

 

It didn’t take him too long to figure out that he was angry and was seeing red when he’d seen Minhyun hugging Jonghyun a little tighter and a little longer than what he had done to them. Of course, thinking back, it may be due to the fact that they were longtime friends who had struggled in this unfair society, but that hadn’t really occurred to him then. He just hated how unfair Minhyun was.

 

And Jonghyun too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo stops in his step when he sees Minhyun at the dining table, a book on his hand and a water at the side. He wasn’t cleanly shaven, their breaks lasting to three days that members didn’t really have the energy or at least didn’t want to exert any, to clean themselves—which also shockingly involved Minhyun. He swallows the lump forming in his throat and walks to the fridge, trying not to disturb the other.

 

“Hungry?” He gets startled when Minhyun asks him from the back, his voice too near that Seongwoo was sure he was inches away from him. Nodding, he slowly turns back and came face to face with Minhyun who had his weight leaned on the counter, his hands crossed in front of him as he looks at Seongwoo squarely.

 

It was unfair how Minhyun looked beautiful even in the warm light of the kitchen, his clothes ruffled at the edges. his pajamas torn on one side, and his hair tousled all over the place. Seongwoo blinks, shifting his attention to the sandwich he was holding. Jihoon was right. He really should stop staring at Minhyun.

 

“You’ve been avoiding me.” The line wasn’t a question, it was a statement and one that Seongwoo knows wouldn’t go too well if he didn’t use his brain a little more than he should. “H-huh,” _fuck_ “I’m not.” Oh, but yes, he was.

 

He had been avoiding him like a plague.

 

He’d go to the practice room earlier than anyone—occasionally dragging Daniel with him—make an excuse whenever Minhyun is about to strike a conversation, and _even_ when Minhyun goes to the living room to watch something, he goes straight to their shared room. It’s a wonder it took Minhyun a week and a half to realize Seongwoo was acting dumb.

 

Seriously, if he wasn’t so hungry he wouldn’t have even stepped foot in the kitchen.

 

Fuck Woojin for eating his dinner.

 

Minhyun sighs and he gets startled at the sound, slowly shifting his attention up the other’s face. He looked confused and frustrated, “I don’t know what I did wrong,” Minhyun starts, raising his hand to his hair and tousles it. “But I’m sorry, I just…” Minhyun looks down on the floor and Seongwoo scrunches his brows because _he_ should be apologizing for acting dumb.

 

It wasn’t Minhyun’s fault that he became such a bumbling idiot after practicing Judo for their comeback, their faces inches apart and their lips almost touching. It had taken approximately 3 seconds for Seongwoo to regain himself and push himself away from Minhyun who was laughing naively.

 

Fine, maybe it was sixty percent Minhyun’s fault.

 

Seongwoo knew by now that he may have a huge crush on Minhyun and maybe the tiny ache he feels whenever he thinks about the little time he had left with the other and how unfruitful whatever it is that Seongwoo wish they’d become is what made him avoid the latter—more or less.

 

Seongwoo lets a sigh escape his lips, “You didn’t do anything wrong.” He says through a forced smile, “Seriously,” He adds seeing as Minhyun was ready to open his mouth. “I’ll fix it, I promise.” He punches Minhyun’s shoulder lightly, smiling at him before entering their room and hopes that it worked.

 

How he was going to fix whatever this is, is the problem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo had never been lost for words until he heard Minhyun crying.

 

He had his fair share of cries ever since produce101 started and a lot of those times were accompanied by none other than Minhyun, his eyes swollen and snot dripping down his nose as the latter laughs at how he looked, playfully pushing him away because he didn’t want to get dirty.

 

But now that Seongwoo had thought about it, he had never seen Minhyun cry until he stumbled upon the slightly open comfort room. It was late at night just a few weeks after the survival show had ended and they just moved in in the dorms—the first season of Wanna one go finished filming a couple hours ago—when Seongwoo had realized that amidst the smiles and the laughter that Minhyun did, he was dejected.

 

Seeing the other Nu’est member in their dorm and not being able to talk to them or even give them a lasting, comforting hug had taken its toll on his mentality. He had seen the nasty comments some of the fans had been saying about them. _Him._ And Seongwoo had to buy another keyboard because he had smashed his hand so hard on it that it was rendered useless.

 

So Seongwoo did what he knew was the right thing.

 

Sitting on the wall near the comfort room door, he lets Minhyun cry his feelings out, closing his eyes as he hears the pained sobs from the latter as he continues to cuss to himself. Seongwoo wished he would stop, he deserved this position more than anyone else.

 

It went on for quite a while, Seongwoo thinking Minhyun was done until another set of silent gasps escape his lips and when he’d thought that it would take an hour more, he gets startled when Minhyun opens the door and steps out of the bathroom, his eyes red and puffy and the tips of his nose flushed. His eyes were startled as he looks at Seongwoo on the floor.

 

“Uhm,” Seongwoo starts, not knowing what to do or say. He’d planned to ‘accidentally’ open the bathroom doors once he’d deemed the crying done but then the object of his debate was standing in front of him, looking at him quizzically. “I… uh... You see… uh… “ He scrambles for some words, _anything_ , until he hears the latter’s soft chuckles.

 

“It’s okay,” Minhyun starts, his voice hoarse and Seongwoo just knew it hurt to talk “I heard you when you sat down.” Seongwoo’s eyes widen in realization, “Wha—“

 

“I liked the company.” Minhyun gives him a smile before he tilts his head towards the direction of his room and maybe Seongwoo’s heart. “Good night, Seongwoo. And thank you.”

 

He needs to get his eyes checked because even the swollen mess that is Hwang Minhyun still looked beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo throws the pillow he was holding to Jihoon who was busy playing on his phone, startling the latter and earning a glare from Daniel who was next to the younger. “What the hell?” He snarls, throwing it back. Seongwoo ignores the two and slithers himself between Daniel and Jihoon.

 

Daniel scrunches his face up in confusion, “What is wrong with you?”

 

Jihoon pushes Seongwoo away when the latter’s face nears his ear, “Ew—what the fu—Get away from me!” He pushes Seongwoo by the face and earns a satisfying groan. What the hell was up with Ong Seongwoo. “I need your help.” Seongwoo glares at him and jihoon raises his brows because did he really think he’d help with anything.

 

“Yeah, and?” Jihoon asks, “Is that how you ask for help?”

 

“That’s how Jaehwan asks for help.”

 

“That’s Jaehwan-hyung, you’re Ong Seongwoo.” Jihoon rolls his eyes because he sees Daniel sneaking away at the side and damn does he want to punch the grin on his face for leaving him with the pain in the ass.

 

“I need help and you’re the only I can think of.” Seongwoo scowls at him, taking the pillow next to him and punching it lightly. “If this is about your _admiration_ towards Minhyun-hyung, I call it quits.” Jihoon emphasizes because as much as he’d want to help him out, there was no helping him.

 

Minhyun was as secretive towards his fascination to people—if there are any—as he was and even when he’d tell Seongwoo to try and tell him he likes the other, the older would look at him as if he was crazy, like he’d said something stupid.

 

So, truthfully speaking, he was done.

 

“Come on,” Seongwoo whines, “I want to talk to him like usual but every time I look at him in the eye I just get this huge urge to kiss him.” He shakes his head at what he was saying. If this was the Ong Seongwoo from 8 months ago, he’d snort at anyone telling him he’d like someone from the same sex, probably flip a bird at them just for the sake of it. He was a boob guy for Christ’ sake. And although it was an asshole thing to do, he looked at a girl’s breast first before accepting their confession.

 

 _Fuck_ , maybe this was karma for being an asshole.

 

“Okay,” Jihoon raises his eyes, scrutinizing his words. “Too much information, but _okay_.” He places the phone down and looks at the latter, his eyes downcast as he sighs for the nth time. “What do you plan to do?” he asks. Seongwoo sits in silence for a few seconds before he shakes his head, turning his body to Jihoon and raising his hand to place it on the startled male. “What the hell are—“

 

“I guess I’m giving up.” Seongwoo whispers, almost inaudibly.

 

Jihoon doesn’t have the heart to push him by the face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I didn’t know Seongwoo and Jihoon were close” The person who entered the room says, Daniel momentarily looks up from his phone to Minhyun and shrugs before he continues to play, what’s not his problem, isn’t his problem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo remembers when he realized he liked everything that was Hwang Minhyun.

 

It was the day of the final elimination, their hearts in frenzy as everyone tried to calm themselves and guess who would be the top finalist. Almost everyone had an inkling that Jihoon would definitely be included, along with Samuel and Jonghyun. Unlike them however, he’d settle for practicing his parts, trying to ease the nervousness away.

 

He’d rather not think about the outcome now, it would just dampen his mood.

 

He remembers when they’d gone up the stage after the performances, their heartbeats quickening both from the fright and dances as he feels someone tug at his sleeves, seconds before they are lifted up to the stage. He looks at the person from the side and sees Minhyun smiling at him, “You’re going to make it in.” he gives Seongwoo’s hand a squeeze, not waiting for him to respond as the lift raises them up, a smile etched on his face.

 

He forces himself to look away and to smile at the people. And he did, but it doesn’t stop his heart from thumping against his ribcage, it doesn’t stop the redness on his cheeks and it most definitely doesn’t stop the smile on his lips.

 

But that wasn’t what that made him realized it.

 

It was when they were backstage, their parents doting on them, congratulating them at their achievements when he’d notice Minhyun at the corner of the room, suppressing the tears he’d been trying to hold off since earlier. He smiles at the pictures that his parents were taking, his mind bothered by the image of Minhyun wiping a lone tear on his cheek when he’d deemed it impossible to ignore

 

Excusing himself when his parents were distracted, he’d walked over to the older, tapping him at the back and forces a smile as his gaze settle themselves on Minhyun’s bloodshot eyes. “I knew you’d make it.” He tells him truthfully because, he _did_ know. Minhyun was the embodiment of success. He was born to move people with his voice and talent, he was born for the stage.

 

Minhyun chuckles, punching him softly on the arm, “Congratulations.” He smiles at him and maybe it wasn’t the most dramatic thing or maybe the most striking realization but in that moment where everyone was shuffling around them, their voices molding into one booming noise, Minhyun was the only one he could see and hear.

 

His eyes turnis crescents as he laughs, his lips turning up as he says something Seongwoo couldn’t comprehend. When Minhyun moved in for a hug, he’d knew he’d fallen. That the days spent with wanting to practice with him were all excuses to be with him a little longer.

 

Hugging the latter back, he settles his face on the crook of Minhyun’s shoulder, “Congratulations to you too.” He murmurs.

 

And fuck did he felt good against Seongwoo’s body.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Not to be that person but,” Jaehwan starts, “Isn’t Seongwoo-hyung avoiding you?” He gives his guitar to Jisung who was seating in front of him, the latter stopping his movements as he waits for Minhyun to answer.

 

Minhyun lifts his face up from the book he was reading, looking at Jaehwan who was on the bed adjacent to his. They had overseas schedule and they were staying the night in a hotel with Jaehwan as his roommate. “What makes you say that?” he scrunches his brows at him in question.

 

“I don’t know,” Jaehwan shrugs, “We’re close but I thought you guys were closer. You just don’t spend your time with him anymore.” He turns his attention back to Jisung who was looking at Minhyun, realization dawning on him as he remembers Seongwoo eating inside their room instead of the kitchen where he happened to see Minhyun settled in.

 

“Come to think of it,” Jisung starts, “I don’t think I’ve seen you two in the same room anymore.” He swats Jaehwan’s hand away when the latter pinches on his finger to move it to one particular string, “That hurts, you dumbass.”

 

Minhyun mulls, the other two already back to whatever it was that they were doing. Minhyun had thought that it was just him overthinking how Seongwoo had been avoiding him because the others never _did_ notice it, but the subtle glances he’d give Minhyun when he’d felt that they were going to be alone was something that had been bothering for quite some time now.

 

Sighing and ruffling his head, he places the book down and lies down. What had he done wrong? He was pretty sure he’d lived a peaceful life until produce 101, always pleasing others, always smiling and being the perfect person they’d make him to be. But if Seongwoo was avoiding him… then something really must have happened.

 

After all, Seongwoo was straightforward enough to confront Daniel when they almost fought some time ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You know,” Jihoon starts, “I’d love to lie and tell you that you haven’t been bothering me, but I can’t bring myself to do that because you _are_ bothering me.” He emphasizes as he tries to push Seongwoo away from peering down on the game he was playing on his phone. “Oh, come on.” Seongwoo rolls his eyes, “It’s not like I’m noisy or anything, right Daniel?” He looks at the latter who was lying down on the other bed next to them. Daniel absentmindedly nods at him as he clicks on another channel, “Don’t you have a room though?” He asks, Seongwoo scowls at the question.

 

“Jisung-hyung’s also out, anyway.” He gives up bothering Jihoon and settles on propping his body up to look at whatever that was on the television. “And I don’t really want to go to Jaehwan’s room now.” He murmurs.

 

“Ah, fuck.” Jihoon curses, throwing his phone on the bed before ruffling his hair, startling Seongwoo. “God, I’m so frustrated.” He groans out before whipping his head to look at Seongwoo, “You,” He points out as he stands up, “Get out.” He flicks his wrist towards the door.

 

“What—“ Seongwoo tries to reason out as Jihoon yanks on his arm, Daniel was looking at them amused, the television long forgotten. “Daniel, you fuck, tell him I’m going to sleep here tonight.” He says between thrashing Jihoon’s had away. Daniel shrugs and instead of waiting for his answer, Jihoon answers for them. “Unless you want to see us fuck, I suggest you go back to your room.”

 

“Wait—“ Seongwoo furrows his brows as he tries to digest what Jihoon had said, the latter using it as a chance to push him out of the door, “What do you—“

 

“It’s to relieve stress, hyung.” Jihoon rolls his eyes at the dumbfounded expression Seongwoo had, “Why don’t you do it with Minhyun-hyung too?” And he closes door.

 

Seongwoo stands in front of the closed door for quite a time, until he hears a thud on the other side of the door and then his face flushes, from disgust or embarrassment, he doesn’t know. He could swear Daniel was as straight as he was, well, at least, what he used to be. He’d even told them explicit details on every girl he’d slept with, what the fuck? When did _that_ started?

 

Gasping, he remembers one incident when he’d walk in in their room two weeks ago, Daniel’s hands on Jihoon’s shirt. He fucking thought he was fixing his shirt. What the fuck?

 

He hears another thud just right next to the door, followed by another before he turns his body back and walk 4 doors down the hallway, a scowl on his face, did he really just fucking almost heard them fuck?

 

Yeah, he did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trudging back to his place, he opens the door with the keys, hearing someone shuffling in the bathroom. Fortunately, Jisung was back and he wouldn’t have to wallow himself in pity for how dry his love life and sex life was. Fucking Jihoon and Daniel, those assholes, they were younger than him.

 

Throwing himself on the bed, he sighs as he rolls to one side, facing the ceiling and covers half of his face with his arm. Maybe if he was as adorable as Jihoon and Daehwi, he could try and woo Minhyun. But he wasn’t. He was lanky and skinny, and that may not be a problem but he was almost as tall as the latter was and even if he did act cute in front of him, he’d doubt Minhyun would want to see him do it.

 

“You okay?” Seongwoo flinches at the sound and removes his arm on his face, his eyes widening at the sight of Minhyun in the middle of their room, looking at him curiously, worry etched on his face. “What are you doing here?” He asks. He sees Minhyun raise a brow and walks towards the mini refrigerator on the side of the television. “You don’t want me here?”

 

He furrows his brows at the question before realizing how rude his question sounded. “I mean, where’s…” He trails, looking at the bed, looking for Jisung.

 

“He kicked me out of the room.” Minhyun shrugs and he notices him opening the canned beer, taking a big gulp before patting his hair dry with the towel he was holding. “You’re drinking beer.” Seongwoo lets his linger on Minhyun’s frame. He was wearing a gray boxer shorts with a with v-neck shirt that seemed to plunged too low for him to get a good view of his clavicle, his pale skin turning red at the neck where he’d scratched.

 

Minhyun shrugs, placing the can down. “Have a lot on my mind lately.” He looks at Seongwoo pointedly and the latter clears his throat, removing his gaze from the latter and looking elsewhere. “You’ve been avoiding me.” Minhyun states, walking towards the bed opposite to him and Seongwoo feels the heated gaze the latter was giving him, tapping on his phone, he tries to look casual.

 

“I’ve told you before, I’m not.” He was, though.

 

At least, he wasn’t obvious about it. The past few weeks have been close to a torture, forcing smiles and jokes at Minhyun and trying to—subtely as possible—avoid any physical contact with the latter.

 

Minhyun sighs, “well,” he starts, “If even Jaehwan is noticing it, then I’m pretty sure you are.” He tosses the towel on the nearby couch and places takes a breather. “I don’t know what I did wrong, but I’m sorry, okay?”

 

“What are you talking about?” Seongwoo forces a laugh but it comes awkward and he cringes to himself. He didn’t train to act to be a stammering mess, god damn it. “I’m not avoiding you and you didn’t do anything.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo was bad at lying.

 

He remembers getting scolded by his mother when he’d lie about doing his homework, his mom telling him it was written all over his face, how he’d look at the side unconsciously and scratches his cheek as he tells him the dumbest of excuses. It always did amaze his mother how he’d train for acting. He may be good in that area but when it comes to lying, he sucked.

 

He remembers the one time he lied to the members, it was during the first few months of debut, their schedules were hectic with everyday performance and spending breaks over perfecting their dance when he’d suddenly felt sick, probably due to both the mental and physical stress or the longing for a break, he doesn’t know.

 

They were practicing one evening, the streets bustling with cars as they dance to Energetic one more time, the members’ faces looking weary as time goes by. Seongwoo sat down on the corner the moment the instructor had given them a break, placing a towel on top of his head as he closes his eyes, trying to catch his breath.

 

“Seongwoo?” The instructor calls. Removing the towel, he forces himself to stand, his legs a little unsteady and his sight a little woozy. “You’ve made a lot of mistakes during your part.” The instructor points out every mistake he’d make and of course, Seongwoo already knew that, but that doesn’t really make it any better.

 

“Sorry,” He bows his head, “I’ll do better.”

 

The instructor nods before calling another member. He goes back to his corner, feeling more worn out. “Hyung?” someone says. Opening his eyes, he sees Guanlin peering down at him, “Are you okay? You don’t look too good.” Seongwoo forces a smile, Guanlin was always so concerned about his members that it was quite adorable. “Yup,” he answers, “Just tired.” Guanlin nods and Seongwoo thanks the heaven that he believed him. He didn’t really have the energy to get another nagging from their manager for not taking care of his health.

 

 

 

Once the instructor calls it a day, everybody sighs in relief, shuffling towards the side to get their bags ready.

 

Entering their van, he takes a sit at the very back corner of the car, his headache killing him and his throat already feeling dry and scratchy. “Here,” feeling a nudge, he looks at the bottled water before looking at the person on his side. “take it, I know you have a fever.” Seongwoo opens his mouth to reason out but no excuses form, “Thanks.”

 

“I know you’re worried about what the manager might say but it’s okay to let yourself be spoiled when you’re sick.” The other gives him a tablet and waits for him to drink it, looking at him pointedly. Taking it, he smiles at the latter in gratefulness, “Thank you.”

 

“Get some rest.” The other starts, “I’ll wake you up when we arrive.”

 

“Thank you, Minhyun.”

 

“Anytime.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo tries very hard not to glance at Minhyun every damn second.

 

The latter had sighed to himself before taking the remote control and made himself comfortable on the bed, too tired to retaliate with whatever Seongwoo was trying to prove. Seongwoo was on his phone, messaging—annoying—Jihoon and Jisung from time to time or trying to distract himself by playing.

 

When had it started getting so awkward?

 

He’d like to think that Minhyun and him were close—closer than what the fans would think they were. He’d been close to the latter ever since he’d chosen them during the first evaluation and closer now that they were in the same group. They’d spend nights tuning in to some random songs and telling stories about almost everything, sharing worries about the future and comforting each other with cliché lines.

 

He hated himself a little for straining their relationship and maybe regretted realizing his feelings. If only he didn’t like him.. “you’re awfully quiet.” He gets startled at the sound and cranes his neck to look to the side, Minhyun still watching. “Just tired.” He answers, the latter humming in response before opening his mouth. “I lied,” the other starts, Seongwoo raises his eyebrow, “About what?”

 

“Jisung-hyung didn’t kicked me out.” Minhyun turns the television off, placing the controller on the side table before turning towards him. “I asked him to switch rooms because I wanted to talk to you.” he pushes the duvet of off his body before standing up. “and clearly we’re not going to do any of that so I’ll go back to my room now.” He doesn’t turn to look at Seongwoo in the eye and maybe Seongwoo should have stayed mum because he's unconsciously reaching out to take Minhyun by the wrist and his mouth unconsciously opening, “Wait,” Minhyun turns to him, he doesn’t voice out his question but Seongwoo knew.

 

They exchange gazes for a moment, letting silence take over them, Seongwoo wishing that time would stop. This wasn’t his intention, this wasn’t what was supposed to happen because not only was their friendship breaking, the others would soon catch on and he’d have to live with the guilt that it had him who made it awkward.

 

“If you don’t have anything to say,” Minhyun gently removes the hand holding his wrist, “I’ll go now.”

 

He holds his wrist firmly, looking at the ground and hoping it would swallow him whole but it doesn’t work like that. Not everything works according to his plan. “I like you.” He says, looking at the ground when he sees Minhyun furrow his brow, anger seeping out of him as he scoffs, “You _like_ me? Seongwoo, you’ve been avoiding me for the past month, I don’t think _like_ is even an option—“

 

“It’s not like that.” Seongwoo bites his lips, there was no use trying to escape now, might as well get rejected early. He’d just drink himself to sleep after and maybe Minhyun might even talk to him, who knows. “I like you as in want to kiss you. I like you not as a friend but I _really_ like you” He emphasizes, his feelings pouring out and he couldn’t bring himself to raise his head and look at Minhyun’s disgusted face.

 

“I’ve been avoiding you because every time I look at you, I just want to...” he trails, shaking his head “I’m so sorry that you have to hear this, I know you’re disgusted. I just…” He ruffles his hair with his free hand, “I’m sorry.” He lets go of the wrist he was holding and turns back to the bed.

 

He doesn’t look at Minhyun as the latter walks towards the door, covering his body with the duvet.

 

He ignores the door closing and hopes that tomorrow wouldn’t come.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo had loved a girl once.

 

He’d love her with all his fiber that he’d even thought about their future together. How they’d have kids and spend their old days somewhere outside the city area. But life doesn’t always turn out the way one wanted. Once he’d started training and she started attending university, they started drifting apart.

 

No one voiced it out at first, their calls becoming shorter, their times together becoming less frequent. And naturally, the break up followed. It was the girl who told him she wanted to break up, how she’d found someone in the university and he should also find someone else.

 

Of course, it hurt. He loved her enough to sacrifice his breaks to see her. He’d cried himself to sleep that night, rejecting his friends’ offer to try and cheer him up by drinking and not going to the company to train. He drank 5 bottles of soju in his room that night, his mother calling to check if he was alright.

 

But that pain was nothing compared to now.

 

If that time his heart ached, now _everything_ did.

 

When he’d woken up from Jisung’s shuffling, his head was thumping from pain and every part of his body ached. He knew he looked bad and Jisung voiced it out, worried that the manager might give him pain later. “are you okay? You look pretty sick.”

 

He waves his hand, dismissing him with a forced smile. “Just tired.”

 

Tired.

 

Yeah, he was tired.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo should have expected the subtle change.

 

Before, Seongwoo was the only one avoiding him, but now Minhyun was too. Whenever the members or the cameras were around, they’d put on their mask and forget about Ong Seongwoo and Hwang Minhyun. In front of these people, they were Seongwoo and Minhyun from Wanna One. Although he did expected this, he didn’t think that it would hurt any more than what he was feeling.

 

When they’d gathered in the hotel lobby, he’d stolen glances at Minhyun who was talking to Jaehwan and maybe he’d scowled a little because he looked perfect, like he didn’t just hear his member confessed to him the night before and here he was, bags darker than usual and mood gloomy as hell.

 

He had felt the impact of his confession—and rejection—when they were seated in the plane, half expecting Minhyun to be next to him because he heard the manager tell him and gets shocked when he finds Sungwoon sitting on the seat next to him instead, “Minhyun exchanged with me since he wanted to be on the aisle, that’s okay right?”

 

“Of course.” he forced a laugh.

 

Once he’d deemed Sungwoon was asleep, he lets his mind wonder. If he didn’t confess and ignored his feelings, would anything be different? If he was girl maybe he’d have a chance? He scrunches his brows at the thought and the confusion turns to frustration and he feels his hands shaking.

 

How dare Minhyun ignore him? He could have just rejected his sorry ass and be done with it so he can finally cry in pity but here he was hoping and trying to think of ways to woo him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

It's three weeks in when the members started noticing it.

 

It was jihoon who made the first move to ask, opening the door to their shared room as he sits on the edge of his bed. “Something happened?” the younger asks. Maybe he already had inkling, Jihoon was always sharp when it comes to these things. Shrugging, he doesn’t lift his gaze from his phone. “Nothing much.”

 

Jihoon sighs, “Come on, you can do better than that.” He pushes himself backward, his back leaning on the wall as he looks at Seongwoo. Silence envelops them for a while, the only sound coming from the tapping on his phone and Jihoon was close to giving up when he hears him mumble.

 

“What?” he asks, leaning closer.

 

“I told him I like him.” He tries to say casually but the crack in his voice gives him out and the reality of the rejection scratching at him. He’d been trying to ignore that fact for quite a while now, too afraid to voice it out because it seemed to real, too painful. “Please don’t tell me I’m stupid because I know I’m stupid.” He unconsciously forces a chuckle, his eyes starting to water as Jihoon hums in silent. “It hurts.” He whispers, giving up on the game and tossing his phone on the bed, “God,” he groans, “It hurts so much I don’t deserve this, damn it. I’m Ong Seongw—”

 

“Can you just shut up and let me comfort you?”

 

“You call this comforti—”

 

“Fuck.” Jihoon covers the other’s mouth with a glare, softening as he sees the tears spilling down his cheeks. If it wasn’t for the tears he’d have shoved his phone inside his mouth.

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

“You’re avoiding Seongwoo-hyung.” Jaehwan says one evening, half of his attention on the television. He turns his head to look at Minhyun who halted in his step, just finished brushing his teeth. “At first, it was just him avoiding you but now you’re even avoiding him.”

 

Minhyun doesn’t answer but walks towards the mini fridge. “When you told me you liked him more than a friend, I thought for sure you’d have a chance.” The older stays silent. “I mean, he _did_ looked like he likes you.” Minhyun sighs before ruffling his hair, “That’s impossible.” He starts, “And even if he did, what about it?” Jaehwan shrugs, “I don’t know, go out together?”

 

“You’re talking nonsense, you know I can’t, _we_ can’t.” He looks at him absurdly, Jaehwan can’t be serious. Did he forget that they were _idols_? “ignoring the fact that we’d part at the end of it, what would the fans think if they find out about us?”

 

“If they’re really our fans, they’d understand.” Jaehwan tilts his head, raising his brow, “Half of us have girlfriends, Jisung-hyung’s been going with his girlfriend for 3 years now.” True, besides the three youngest, almost all of them were in a relationship, Jisung having the longest relationship of them all.

 

But that doesn’t make his worry any lesser than it already was, in fact, it just became worse because he’s _thinking_ about it and that’s what scares him the most. He was committed to never admitting anything but Jaehwan just had to hear his drunken slurs during the party that occurred for their first win for energetic and he’s even starting to think if his choice was really right.

 

“That’s different.” Minhyun sits down on the edge of the bed, looking at the ground as he shakes his head. “Is it because you’re boys?” the other asks, and seeing as Minhyun wasn’t planning on answering, he throws the controller on his bed and prepares to stand up. “I know quite a lot of people who are in the same group going out though.” He takes his wallet that was on his table, “And I’m pretty sure the noise from Daniel’s room aren’t from the porn they’re watching.” He looks at him pointedly, implying the nights when they’d spend with Jisung in their room.

 

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” Minhyun knew he was talking nonsense, he’d already ruin the moment he started liking the way Seongwoo smiles.

 

“I don’t think there’s much to save if you aren’t going to talk about it at this point.” Jaehwan snorts, “Don’t think too much about it and do what you want to do.” Walking towards the door, he turns his head back to look at him. “I’m going to buy ice cream, want some?”

 

Minhyun doesn’t answer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s a week later when Seongwoo finds himself in a difficult situation.

 

Some of the members were in school and had other schedules when he’d arrived at the dorm just a little past 7am, exhausted from the filming. He’d thought that everyone was away when he’d turn to the kitchen only to bump against someone, looking at what it was, he locks eyes with the person he’d been avoiding for the past few weeks. “Oh,” he mumbles, “Sorry.” Moving out of the way, he lets the other pass by him and sighs in relief.

 

Seriously, why was everything against him? It was only 7:30am.

 

Walking towards the fridge, he gets a glass of water and massages his temple. Master key was great but it was exhausting, he’s only so thankful that he didn’t embarrass himself for being such a lousy player. “Seongwoo.” Someone calls, he flinches at the sound and turns to look at Minhyun.

 

“Are you hungry?” He asks, “do you want me to cook for you?”

 

Seongwoo places the glass down and looks at the sincerity in his eyes. Maybe if they acted like nothing happened, everything would fall back to place. “No, it’s okay.” He shakes his head and forces a smile.

 

Seongwoo couldn’t bring himself to act like it doesn’t hurt because it does. Badly. And he was a still miffed that the other would avoid him instead of rejecting him. So, no. It’s not okay.

 

He _did_ try to move on though, he asked Minah for Yura’s number during break once and he’d texted her first, their conversation light and fun, she’d told him about how she liked someone else and honestly, he was thankful for her blunt approach because although he was an asshole for using others to relieve of the stress he’s been feeling, he couldn’t bring himself to lie and tell her he liked her more than friends.

 

He’d also give his number to girls who asked for it during breaks, his phone always flooded by messages of invites of coffees and parties. But it all comes down to one thing, _useless_ , because once he puts his phone down, Minhyun’s face would flash behind closed lids.

 

Seriously, he really _did_ try but once he’d think the girls were starting to like him, he puts a little distance on them, messaging them less frequently until they’d give up. An asshole move, really, but fuck karma because nothing was worse than what he was feeling right now.

 

“Seongwoo,” Minhyun starts when he’d turn his body back towards the sink, “I know I shouldn’t have avoided you. It’s…” he trails and he couldn’t bring himself to turn because the tears that he’d been trying to hold back ever since was trying to force its way up. He was Ong Seongwoo for Christ’ sake, he didn’t sob. “I know,” He answers, hoping Minhyun doesn’t notice the tremble in his voice, “It was my fault that it became like this. I’m sorry.”

 

“No, I mean...” He could hear the frustration in Minhyun’s voice, “Fuck,“ He curses, rubbing at his temple. Fuck this. “I lik—“

 

His sentence gets cut off from the opening of the door, someone shuffling in. “Minhyun-hyung?” it was Jinyoung, his uniform clutched tightly in his hand as he hurries to remove his shoes. “I thought you’d go to pledis today? Hi, Seongwoo-hyung.” Seongwoo deems it’s his cue to leave.

 

“I was going to but…” Seongwoo closes the door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel opens the door to their dorm one morning, the lights off. It was dark and he knew the members were sleeping, it was a little past four a.m. and everyone was tired from the numerous schedule. Quietly removing his shoes, he walks towards their shared room when he’d heard someone in the kitchen. Curious, he walks towards the place, peaking at the side.

 

It was Minhyun. He was talking to someone on the phone.

 

“I know,” Minhyun ruffles his hair. “I just… I can’t help but think ‘what if’… I do…” Daniel thinks that it was Jonghyun, he could tell from how comfortable he was talking. Thinking that it was wrong to eavesdrop, he’d turn on his heels until he hears Minhyun. “I like Seongwoo but that’s…”

 

Wait. He _likes_ Seongwoo? Daniel furrows his brows, but he’d been avoiding him? The members noticed the slight tension between the two and they did their best to ignore it, hoping they would resolve it by themselves but it was almost two months in and Daniel could say that it wasn’t going to. And he’s pretty much gotten the gist of things, Jihoon would always groan about it in frustration saying how they’re dumb and prolonging things. “I know… Yeah, see you. Good night, Jonghyun.”

 

Daniel hurriedly goes inside their shared room, the information waking him up. Reaching for his phone, he composes a message and hoped the information wouldn’t make Jihoon kill him tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Okay, get your shit together.” Jihoon says one morning, Seongwoo furrows his brows. What the hell is happening, why is Jihoon awake at… he looks at his phone, 9am on a free day. “Why the hell are you up?” He scowls, “Let me sleep, I got back late.”

 

Jihoon sighs before taking a hold of his blanket. He was right, it _was_ too early for him to be up but 2 weeks have since he received a message from Daniel when he’d taken a peek at his phone during the early hours of the day and he’d been tempted to tell the latter that Minhyun likes him but opted for waiting instead. Until, he deems it stupid and his patience is wearing thin because two weeks have passed and there was no sign of Minhyun or Seongwoo getting their shit straight.

 

“You weren’t drunk when you heard it, right?” he asks, a little too loudly as he shakes his body.

 

Thankfully, Jisung was out and Seongwoo had a schedule. “Hmm? What?” Daniel asks, absentmindedly. He opens his eyes to look at Jihoon and unconsciously grabs him by the neck, placing a peck on the latter’s unsuspecting lips. “What the fuck?” Jihoon scowls, wiping his lips. Why was it so hard to please this kid? Why can’t they just go out? He’s pretty sure he’s memorized every nook and crevice of his body and—

 

“I said, did you really hear Minhyun-hyung say it?” He asks, furrowing his brows. “Oh, you mean… Yeah.” He shrugs, taking Jihoon’s hand and interlocking it, the latter ignores the action. “You weren’t drunk, right?” Daniel rolls his eyes, “I was out filming, do you really think I’d drink?”

 

Jihoon turns his eyes into slits before swatting his hands away. “I told you we’re not like that.” He turns on his heels and closes the door. “Thanks.” Daniel shakes his head lightly, a smile on his face.

 

 

 

“Come on,” Seongwoo groans, “I’m tired.” Jihoon rolls his eyes and turns on his heel. “Fine. Just don’t go anywhere” If neither Seongwoo or Minhyun were brave enough to get their shit together, it's to make matters into his hand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo sometimes forget that Jihoon is the reincarnation of a devil.

 

And if combined with just the right immature person, he might just become the embodiment of evil.

 

He’d remember something that had happened some time ago, some of the members had gone home except for those who had schedules which weren’t exactly hard to pinpoint, seeing as some fans are pointing out on twitter that they hadn’t gone home. By them they meant Daniel, Jihoon, Minhyun, and himself.

 

They had schedules later that afternoon, their mornings free and Seongwoo was planning on sleeping in until a knock on the door interrupts him, “Yes?” he’d ask, thinking that it was Jihoon. The younger had been bothering—asking—him quite a lot of things these days.

 

“Seongwoo?” The latter blinks before he raises his head by propping himself by the hand. “Minhyun? What’s up?” he asked, furrowing his brows. The other shuffles inside, his sleeves rolled up and the first two buttons of his dark blue shirt open. Where was he planning on going at what? 10am?

 

“Are you busy?” He asks, picking up the shirts scattered on the floor. It was most definitely Daniel’s. He’d remember that hideous neon green pants he’d cursed when the other had used it. “Nope.” He answers, sitting up, giving Minhyun a used shirt he’d found on his bed.

 

“Do you want to have lunch out?” If Seongwoo was drinking something, he’d have choked. Was Minhyun asking him out? What the fuck? “Huh?” he asks, cringing out how dumb it was. “Daniel and Jihoon told me to invite you out since you’ve wanted to eat out.” Minhyun shrugs, “Also, they already went ahead of us.”

 

“Don’t we have a schedule?”

 

“Yeah, at five.” Minhyun snorts, “It’s 10am. You good? Or do you just want to sleep?”

 

“I’m not that tired,” He stands up, “Let’s go?” He would rather die than tell the latter that he only had an hour of sleep.

 

 

 

Later that afternoon, when they finished eating, he receives a text from Jihoon. He really should have opted to open it when he was alone, in the corners of his room because Jihoon does not text. Hell, he doesn’t even save their phone numbers. Opening, he scrunches his brows at what appears to be a screenshot of… something.

 

   From: Dorm Ji

   Subject: lol

        Welcome

 

Attached to it was a screenshot of a fan who’d tweeted that Minhyun and Seongwoo should try this new place, she’d thought it would suit them. He planned on asking Minhyun out the next time they had a break and suddenly remembers that _fuck_ , was that why Daniel had been giggling when he used his phone?

 

If Minhyun hadn’t swiped the stain on his lip he’d have sent a fuck you to those fuckers but he did so he opts to not reply to those sweet but hateful heathens.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo had woken up early today, just a little past noon, when he’d noticed the dorm was too quiet. Rather, it was unusually quiet that Seongwoo had to pinch himself on the thigh to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Safe to say, he’d yelped and scowled at himself after. Standing up, he reaches to get his phone that was between his pillows and his blanket. Opening the door, he scrunches his face up when he is met with no one but doesn’t think too much on it. It was a free day, he didn’t really expect anyone to be holed up like he was.

 

His friends were busy with school and everyone else had schedules to attend to and quite frankly, Seongwoo wasn’t really in the mood to go anywhere. He hadn’t been in any mood to act like he was happy, always going to his room after schedules. He knew everyone noticed the tension between him and Minhyun, it wasn’t like it was the subtlest thing when they were in the corners of their dorm, Minhyun would go straight to the kitchen and he would go straight to their rooms.

 

That was the routine.

 

Closing the door to the fridge, he gives up looking for food and throws himself on the couch, rolling over so that he was facing the ceiling, letting his thoughts get the best of him, like always.

 

If he hadn’t open his mouth and suppressed his feelings more, would they still be friends? Not really, Seongwoo would have a hard time suppressing the urge to kiss Minhyun and might even do it mid-talking. He had always been fond of skinship when it comes to his lovers.

 

Thoughts like this had been invading his mind like the plague, lowering what little hope he had and hating himself a little. Raising his hand to ruffle his hair, he sighs at how stupid this was. Seongwoo from Wanna One was a cheerful guy, always making others laugh and always the mood maker. Ong Seongwoo was different. He was insecure and wanted to feel acceptance from everybody.

 

Sighing, he closes his and let sleep take over him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo thought Minhyun liked him back.

 

To some extent, at least.

 

Minhyun was kind to everyone, his skinship to everyone making even Jinyoung questions his sanity because he’d send kisses in their way even without the supervision of their fans. He was always caring and careful with his words, too familiar with how harsh reality is and how a single word or thing can make someone misunderstand.

 

Seongwoo remembers being so drunk, his head spinning from the amount of beer he’d ingested. It was their last comeback stage and everyone was hyped, drinking to their hearts content for the free day they had the next morning. He doesn’t remember much of what happened but he remembers Minhyun was on his side by the couch, some of the members passed out on the floor, some in their room, already sleeping.

 

He remembers saying something dumb that happened during high school and how Minhyun had taken a sip from the beer he drank, saying he couldn’t finish a can. He remembers telling Minhyun how unfair he was, how he looks good and how he does things so perfectly. How unfair he was for not knowing the extent of how handsome he was and how it affected people. Minhyun had probably laughed, he doesn’t remember.

 

What he remembers however was the other leaning closer, his hand on his cheek, a slight smile on his lips as he says something Seongwoo still hates himself for not remembering and then he passes out.

 

Maybe it was wishful thinking or maybe it was because of the beer but Seongwoo heard Minhyun say he liked him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Seongwoo—“ He scrunches his brows and swats the hand that was bothering him. God damn it, let him sleep. “Seongwoo—” he grumbles to himself when the hand doesn’t stop. Forcing his eyes open, he stretches and looks at the person, only to sit up in alarm.

 

He hadn’t looked at Minhyun in the eye for quite a time now so when he does, and in such a close proximity, he doesn’t know what to do. He was so close, _too_ close. He could see the latter’s bags that were darker than usual and his cheeks hallowed. Minhyun had a habit of forgetting to eat when he had a lot of schedules, they’d always force him to eat.

 

“You haven’t been eating.” Seongwoo unconsciously says, his eyes widening at what he’d blurted out and the latter looking at him, startled. He looks away and cringes. God damn, Jisung was right. He was dumb when he’d just woken up.

 

Seongwoo hears a slight chuckle on the side before the latter moves away. “I’m not that hungry.” He tells him, picking up the pillows that were on the floor and Seongwoo could have sworn that he was dreaming. Minhyun was not avoiding him and he was chuckling at the dumb shit he’d say. “The minors won’t be going home until tomorrow.” Minhyun walks towards the bin and throws the wrappers on the table.

 

“huh?” Seongwoo asks, “Why?”

 

Minhyun throws him a glance. “We have three days off. I think they’d want to see their parents. Guanlin went home to Jihoon’s.”

 

Right. They were on break, damn it all. He needs to get the sleep out of his system.

 

Standing up, he removes the blanket that was covering his body. He doesn’t remember bringing one out. “Do you want me to cook?” Minhyun asks him, and Seongwoo wishes to give him a moment to appreciate whatever dream this was because Minhyun was smiling at him and he hadn’t seen that smile for a while now.

 

“Can you?” He asks, walking towards the kitchen and opening the fridge. “well,” The latter asks, “I was hoping you’d offer to cook.” Minhyun chuckles and Seongwoo lets a smile slip. God, he misses his laugh. “Ramen?”

 

“Sure.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Placing the bowl of ramen at the center and the other side dishes, he sits down on the chair opposite of the latter, chanting to himself to not be awkward. He would gladly take what he could get and if Minhyun wanted to act like nothing had happened, like they haven’t been talking for months now, then he could act like his heart wasn’t aching and his urges to kiss him was non-existent.

 

Minhyun takes a spoonful of rice and sighs, content. “I thought I wasn’t hungry.” Seongwoo snorts, “Sure, you aren’t.”

 

A comfortable silence takes over them, only the clinking of utensils can be heard and Seongwoo misses this.

 

He remembers spending time with Minhyun, laughing at each other’s jokes and being comforted at the silence the latter offers, their backs leaning on the wall as they spend their free afternoon in the dorm. He misses the playful jabs they’d do during backstage and most of all, he misses Minhyun.

 

He misses his concerned smiles and his laugh when Seongwoo would do something stupid—which he always does. “Seongwoo…” Minhyun starts, he doesn’t answer. He knew this little thing was too good to be true so he takes seconds to have a little moment.

 

They needed to talk. He knows it, he’s just not sure if the other is willing to.

 

“Seongwoo, I—“ he closes his eyes and before Minhyun could say anything, before he could break his heart, he’d break his own. “Can we just forget everything?” Seongwoo asks, his voice low, and his eyes closed tightly. So much for needing to talk, Jihoon would probably slice his neck if he’d told him.

 

The silence suffocates him and he flinches at the first word Minhyun says, “Do you really want that?” No, but if he could have little moments like this again, then sure.

 

Raising his head, he looks at Minhyun and forces a smile. “Yeah.” He watches how Minhyun’s expression changes, his brows furrowing and a slight scowl forming on his face. “I don’t.” he tells Seongwoo and the bottled-up feelings he’d been suppressing chokes him because here he was, in front of the guy who’s about to reject him and he was just asking to forget everything.

 

It was frustrating, the deal could actually make things easier, god damn.

 

Looking away, he chants to himself not to cry. He’d endured this long to not bawl his eyes out whenever he sees the latter and the minute he eats ramen with him, he cries? The idiot duo wouldn’t let it leave down for the rest of his remaining life.

 

“I can’t.” Minhyun lets the spoon fall with a loud clank, shaking his head slightly. “I can’t go back to how we used to, Seongwoo.” Minhyun reaches a hand out and wipes at his cheeks, flinching at the touch and only noticing the lone tear that had betrayed him. Fuck, if he knew he’d cry in front of someone with a face like Minhyun, he’d have combed his hair a little. He just knew he looked like a mess.

 

“Hey,” Minhyun starts, “I haven’t even started talking.”

 

“What’s the use? If you’re going to reject me, just do it in one shot and make me wallow in pity so we can get this done and over with.” His eyes may be sweating and his heart breaking but he’d rather die than appear too pitiful. The least he’d want is Minhyun accepting his confession because he looked like he was in the brink of burying himself six feet under.

 

He misses the light smile on Minhyun’s lips and subtley wipes at his cheek. God damn, Minhyun needs to stop wiping his face or he'd yank him by the hand and kiss him. Swatting the hand away, he hears Minhyun sigh before brushing the hair away from his face. “First off,” the older starts, licking his lips in nervousness “I’m sorry for avoiding you.” Seongwoo gets himself ready for the rejection. “It was stupid and I was shocked.”

 

“Yeah, you were shocked for _quite_ a while, huh?” Seongwoo grumbles. He doesn’t mean to be mean, he never did, but the look on Minhyun’s face is comforting him. At least, he wasn’t the only one having problems.

 

Minhyun bites his lips, “We’re both males, Seongwoo.” He shakes his head at the mental image of fans, or what used to be, hating them and throwing hateful words. “It’s hard enough when you like men, top it off, we’re _idols_.”

 

“You think I don’t know that?” Seongwoo asks, furrowing his brows. He knows it damn well, imagine the shock he felt when he’d wanted to punch the members who had little to no value for personal space. They could hug him so openly and there he was, the awkward, lanky, straight male who’d just found out he liked their resident flower boy.

 

“I doubt Jihoon and Daniel do.” Minhyun shrugs, Seongwoo silently agrees.

 

“Look,” Seongwoo starts, “you and I both know there’s nothing happening between us, so let’s just end this with sorry and thank you because I really just want to lie down and—“

 

“I like you.” Minhyun interrupts him and when he notices the scowl forming on Seongwoo’s face, he looks away. “I’ve liked you for awhile now.”

 

“If you’re pitying me, I swear to god—“

 

“You can ask Jonghyun.” Minhyun says, “He was the one who told me to go for it and to be honest, right now I just want to take it back because it’s finally getting better, I can finally look at my family without being embarrassed and here I am doing something that could potentially ruin everything.”

 

Seongwoo lets his eyes wander to Minhyun’s quivering hands, he was nervous and scared. He remembers Minhyun’s face when he’d seen his parents during the final episode, his eyes crinkling into crescent moon and the tips of his mouth upturned. If it wasn’t for his mother calling him, he would have stared for a few more minutes.

 

Shaking his head lightly, he forces himself to stand up, the food he’d eaten forcing its way out of his system. “Then, why?” he cried out, “Why are you telling me this? If you’d have just answered yes then we could go back to how we used to be and we can forget everything.“

 

If Minhyun had accepted, he would have just sealed his feelings shut and maybe even _try_ to actually like someone else. They could have gone back to three months ago when everything was perfect and Seongwoo wasn’t on the brink of losing sleep because of the possibility of losing the latter.

 

“Because I like you, okay?” Minhyun groans out, frustrated as he messes with his hair. “I like you a lot.” He looks at Seongwoo from the side before wincing, “And I’m willing to take the risk.” He takes Seongwoo’s hand that were balled into a fist, pulling him towards his spread-out legs, Seongwoo in the middle and looking at him with an expression he couldn’t fathom. “You don’t know how scared I was when I found out I liked you. It took me _weeks_ to finally accept it and even jonghyun had forced it out of me.” He laces his hand over the latter’s, “I like you, Seongwoo. And I’m sorry for being a jerk.”

 

Seongwoo looks at the hand connected to Minhyun’s, his insides warm and a tingly sensation spreading throughout his system. Fuck, he was ready for a heartbreak that he doesn’t know how to react to this situation and to be honest, despite pinning over the guy for more than 6 months now, everything was happening too fast. They were just eating ramen, for christ’ sake and here he was getting a confession from the guy and possibly—hopefully getting a kiss or two.

 

Seriously, if this was anyone else he’d have scooped down and kissed them but this was Minhyun, what the fuck? He expected the guy to reject him and even bought another tub of ice cream as company.

 

“You were an asshole.” Seongwoo mutters.

 

“I am.” Minhyun nods.

 

“I was really hurt when you ignored me the next morning.” Seongwoo remembers punching the wall of the bathroom when Minhyun had walked passed him the next day. It hurt so much that he was embarrassed for himself.

 

“I know,” Minhyun sighs, “I’m sorry.”

 

“I can’t believe you ignored my existence for two months.”

 

Minhyun raises an eyebrow at him. “Need I remind you that you ignored me a month before that?” Seongwoo blinks at the retort, shrugging. “Fine, I’m sorry for that.”

 

Minhyun chuckles before he squeezes his hand lightly, “I’m really sorry.” He tells him once more, “I would have told you about it weeks ago but the schedule, the fans, and the pressure from being scared was getting to me. I can’t afford to make mistakes.” He shakes his head and Seongwoo squeezes his hand back, trying to give him as much comfort. Minhyun looked perfect, yeah, but he was just as insecure as he was and maybe even more. “But I can’t afford to lose you even more.”

 

Minhyun looks at him, his gaze soft. “I like you, a lot. So much more than you can even imagine and I’ve always do. I’ve been an asshole and I don’t even know if you still like me but I just…” He trails, not knowing what to say. He was still just as dumb as he was before when it comes to relationship and he doesn’t know how to tell the other how much he means to him so he opts for lifting his free hand and removing the stray hair covering his face.

 

Seongwoo bites his lips and settles themselves on Minhyun’s eyes, tracing the latter’s face with his free hand, from his chiseled jaw to his high nose, down to his flushed cheeks. “God,” Seongwoo groans, “I can’t believe I like you.” He tightens his hold on Minhyun’s fingers, scrunching his face up at the thought of wanting to kiss him.

 

“If you wanna kiss me, you can.” Minhyun chuckles, Seongwoo moves away and coughs. “Who says I wanted to?”

 

Minhyun rolls his eyes, “Come on, do you honestly think I don’t know? Based on your past relationships?”

 

Seongwoo kind of hates sharing his endless encounters with girls during the prime time of his youth, “Don’t we need to take things slow?“

 

“We’ve been ignoring each other for weeks, I don’t think we can get any slower than this.” Minhyun snorts and punches him lightly by the shoulder. “Shut up, you can’t even hold a girl’s hand. This is too fast, I haven’t even accepted your—" Minhyun yanks him by the collar, placing his lips on top of the other and releases a satisfied sigh when Seongwoo shuts up from both the shock and the action.

 

Pulling inches back, he snorts at Seongwoo’s dumbfounded face, “What? Realized you don’t like boys?” Seongwoo opens his mouth to retort, only to close it back, raising his hand to touch his lips. “You kissed me.” He accuses, looking at Minhyun. “I can’t believe you kissed me.”

 

Minhyun chuckles in response and Seongwoo may or may not have fallen deeper. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but that was the most innocent kiss I’ve ever had in my entire existence—ouch, don’t punch me.” Seongwoo glares at Minhyun who was frowning at him, rolling his eyes as he takes his head by his free hand, “But that was the best one I’ve ever received.”

 

“Better damn be.” Minhyun taunted.

 

“Now, come on.” Seongwoo pulls him by the neck. “gotta make up for the lost time.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo looks at the ceiling, smiling to himself, sleep still visible from his eyes. He feels the dip of the couch and looks at Minhyun who’d taken a sit next to him, phone in hand. The light of the screen illuminates his face and he lets his eyes wander. Minhyun always looks so proper, so elegant. Fans always thought he was the cleanest member, they were right, but something about Minhyun’s hair all over the place and his lips a little flushed and swollen, was getting to him.

 

They had unintentionally slept on the couch yesterday, their thighs against each other as they watch a horror film, a bowl of popcorn on his lap. Seongwoo had pushed himself away after kissing for god knows how long and tells Minhyun that he _really_ does think they should take it slow _—_ because it was bad for his heart—and that they should watch movies instead.

 

Minhyun thankfully agreed.

 

“Why don’t you take a picture?” Minhyun teases, Seongwoo rolls his eyes. “Stop getting ahead of yourself.”

 

“Yeah?” Minhyun quips, “Jihoon sent me screenshots of your album.” His eyes widen, “or rather _my_ album, judging by the number of pictures you saved—”

 

“What the fuck?” Seongwoo widens his eyes, “When did he—?! Why?! How?!” He swears to burry Jihoon alive. Minhyun tosses his phone to the side and shrugs. “2 weeks ago? He’s been constantly harassing me—or messaging me, rather, about how stupid I am for not telling you.” He takes Seongwoo's hands and plays with his finger and the latter finds it hard to concentrate because Minhyun was so sweet and soft and he wanted to kiss him again. “Apparently, Daniel heard me telling Jonghyun I like you.” Seongwoo hums, half his attention on his fingers. “What made you do it?”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Tell me you like me.”

 

“Oh,” Minhyun starts, turning his eyes into slits, thinking. He unconsciously raises Seongwoo’s hand and kisses his finger and what the fuck Seongwoo would have kicked him by the balls because that was too cheesy and sappy but god damn it, he can’t stop the smile from forming on his face. What the hell happened to the smooth Ong Seongwoo everyone worshipped? Hell, what the fuck happened to the awkward Minhyun? “Daniel kind of talked to me.”

 

“Daniel did?” Seongwoo scrunches his brows, that kid did?

 

“He told me I was wasting my time and I should just think about the _now_ instead of what would happen.” Minhyun looks at him, and smiles. “And told me that it would probably hurt more to see you with someone else.” Seongwoo nods at his words, he’d have to thank those two, he guesses.

 

“I really like you.” Minhyun leans closer and places a kiss on the side of his lips, “A lot.”

 

“You sure you weren’t a player? Why are you so smooth at this?” Seongwoo jokes, trying to hide the embarrassment, Minhyun was rendering him speechless. The other rolls his eyes at him, “I’m not you.” A scowl forms on his lips and he pushes himself away, Seongwoo furrowing his brows. “Now that I think about it, you sure gave your number to _a lot_ of people, huh.”

 

Seongwoo blinks before opening his mouth, “Hey! I was trying to move on!”

 

“You told me you liked me and the next day you asked for someone’s number.”

 

“You ignored me!” Seongwoo argues. “That hurt a shit ton, okay?”

 

“Fine,” Minhyun starts, “We’ll forget about that and focus on this.” Seongwoo looks at him confused. “On what?” Minhyun grins at him, pushing him by the shoulder and landing with a soft thud on the couch, “On this.” Minhyun places his lips on top of his and Seongwoo couldn’t ask for anything more.

 

He’s really thankful that the members won’t be back until 3pm. Jihoon had texted him a picture of a very expensive keyboard that looked too alarming for his choice—it was colorful and it hurt his eyes. Scrolling down, there was a message that almost made him choke.

 

   From: Dorm Ji

   Subject: Welcome.

   I convinced everyone to give you two time to get your shit fixed. Don't dirty the couch

 

  ps. as thanks you should buy me that

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

“You got a lot.” Minhyun tells him from the side, gesturing towards the chocolate on the table. Seongwoo smirks, “I may have turned gay but everyone still wants a piece of this.” He points at his body. Minhyun throws him a disgusted. “You’re disgusting.” Seongwoo scowls at him, flipping a bird.

 

“and you’re an asshole.” He turns his head back and hears the other laughing.

 

“And you still love me.”

 

He flinches at a loud sound from the other side of the room and looks at Jihoon glaring at them, “I mean,” The younger starts, “I get that you’re _finally_ together but can you not flirt when someone is in the room?” He stands up and takes his bag, grumbling to himself as he walks towards the door, closing it with a bang.

 

“What’s wrong with him?” Minhyun snorts.

 

Seongwoo shrugs, “Probably frustrated. I swear to god, the difference between his image and his real self is crazy.” He walks towards Minhyun and kisses him by the lips, “Let’s go, Jisung-hyung’s probably going to kill us if we’re late.” Minhyun agrees, taking his bag in one hand and Seongwoo’s hand by the other. They were still in the building and it was deserted so a little hand holding was okay.

 

Seongwoo smiles to himself, satisfied. He was holding the hands of someone he thought would never reciprocate his feelings and they were happy. Whatever happens in the future, they’ll think about it when the time comes. For now, he’d really just want for Minhyun to get frustrated because they’d been going out for a month and all they did were kissing and a couple of touches here and there and Jihoon’s getting more action than he was and _seriously_ , he wanted to touch Minhyun.

 

He thinks back to the time when he told Minhyun they should take things slow and really had the urge to punch himself. Who would have thought Minhyun _really_ takes his time? He thought a week would be enough, damn.

 

Chuckling to himself, he squeezes Minhyun’s hand and the latter raises his brow at him in question. Shaking his head, he smiles to himself.

 

He’s really happy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhyun is a hot mess, Seongwoo makes sure to remind him he's dumb.

Minhyun would like to think he was level-headed.

 

He’d think about every little thing first. How his decision would affect him, what would happen if he chose one thing over another, and the possible outcomes of his decisions. He was a strategist, he liked his pieces moving in the direction he chose for it to move.

 

When he had been scouted in Busan, he thought about it for a month, his sister nagging at him to get his shit together and pack up to go to Seoul yet he wouldn’t budge. Sometimes, he thinks about what he would be like, what state would he be in, would he be in college, have a girlfriend, when he didn’t choose to go?

 

“Penny for your thoughts?” He feels a nudge on his side and looks at the person next to him, a soft smile on his feature as he hands him a mug. He takes the mug from him and shrugs, “Just thinking that we’re probably going to be really busy.” Seongwoo hums in response, nudging Minhyun’s arms and leaning on the latter’s body, settling himself on Minhyun’s side.

 

It was subtle, at most, Seongwoo’s hands wrapped between the mug and their thighs touching, Minhyun’s hand on Seongwoo’s shoulder. It was almost like back when they were friends, too comfortable with each other to even be conscious of the lack of personal space.

 

He brushes Seongwoo’s hair on the back of his neck, smiling when the latter shivers at his touch, briefly looking at Minhyun before his attention goes back to the television, laughing at whatever was on the screen. Minhyun had already forgotten what the show was about.

 

Seongwoo was an enigma he couldn’t put his finger to. He was bright, energetic, and the life of everything, sending everyone in a laughing fit and the life of the party, he was opposite of Minhyun who would rather stay in bed probably reading a book or watching a movie, so different that Minhyun wonders why someone so bright, so amazing, was in his arms, was _his_.

 

Yes, he sometimes wonder what normal life would feel like, what it felt to walk down the streets with no one screaming at his every move… but then he thinks about not meeting Seongwoo and their fans and the raging anxiety he feels tames down into nothing, thankful for the life he’s chosen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyun had always been touchy.

 

He remembers the times before joining produce 101, wrapping other nu’est members in his arms, minki always complaining at how touchy he was and how embarrassing he was whenever he sends them kisses, occasionally actually kissing them on the cheek.

 

“Tell me again why you broke up with your girlfriend?” Dongho asked him, pushing him away by the face and cringing. “You like kissing me so much I’m starting to wonder if you like me.” He shoos him away with his hands and Minhyun laughs at the old tale of the girlfriend he used to had—or lack thereof. “Well, we never talked besides texting.” Minhyun shrugs and latches himself to Jonghyun, the leader complaining at how heavy he was. He remembers Aron snapping at him whenever he so much as approaches him with open hands and he sometimes think that the Minhyun from the past was another Minhyun.

 

He had always been touchy, yes, but with Seongwoo it was different.

 

Seongwoo basked in the touches he gives him with open hands and sometimes he’s overwhelmed by the same amount he recieves, maybe even more. His hugs tighter and longer and warmer and Minhyun sometimes wishes time would stop because Seongwoo was perfect against him, perfect against his body and perfect in everything else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was the end of the year music festivals, everyone was still buzzing with the Christmas spirit and the excitement of the ending of the year, spending their time practicing routines after routines and going to shows. It was exciting, really, this was probably the first music show he had been into for a while now and despite the fact that he wasn’t performing with Nu’est, at least they were here together.

 

Biting his lips, he contemplates whether to stand up and go to the other room, his friends for a long time waiting for him but the cameras filming them making him think otherwise. He had read the comments and hates, how they wanted him to focus more on wanna one and quite frankly, it scared him. It scared him that this his fans _now_  would abandon him after this.

 

“Minhyun,” he hears someone call him, interrupting his train of thoughts, lifting his head up, he looks at Seongwoo by the door who was waving a hand at him, “What?” He furrows his brows in question.

 

Seongwoo rolls his eyes, “Just come here.”

 

Sighing, he pushes himself up from the couch, away from Daniel and Jihoon who had been yelling at each other whilst playing a game and trudges to the latter who opens the door, following him wordlessly before noticing where he was heading to, a small smile forming on his lips. “You could have just told me.” He mutters.

 

“ _you_ could have just told me you wanted to go.” Seongwoo playfully scoffs, knocking on the door as Jonghyun opens it. Seongwoo heads for a side hug before plopping himself down on the couch next to dongho, Minki greeting him with a hug.

 

“If you went here just to flirt openly” He starts, taking his eyes off of his phone before sending a scowl at Seongwoo, who raises his arm in the air dramatically, “Please don’t.” He’s had his fair share of traumatizing moments when he’d caught them making out on the couch when Minhyun and him decided to visit their dorm, lips pressed together and skin exposed. Seriously, he had enough of that image to last a lifetime, he didn’t need more.

 

 “I wasn’t planning that but if you put it that way…” He trails, winking at Minhyun’s direction and the latter laughing, his heart full and happy.

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

Minhyun had only cried twice.

 

That was what he said on some show but he remembers crying in the bathroom, his heart heavy as he remembers Jonghyun and Minki’s retreating back when they visited their dorm during Wanna one go, no other words said as they exit the room with little to no conversation exchanged between them, their hugs lasting seconds yet his longing stays strong.

 

He had been holding back his tears until after he was sure the cameras were off and the staffs surveying every little thing they do were gone. Trudging to the bathroom, he broke down the minute he closed it—at least he thought he did, his heart heavy and his head aching. His eyes were starting to hurt but that couldn’t compare to how much pain his heart was experiencing.

 

They were his friends, his family, the one he had spent half of his life with and yet they couldn’t even let him speak to them. He had seen the comments the fans had been posting, how some people only support Wanna One’s Minhyun and not Nu’est’s Minhyun and he couldn’t help but think about the future. What would happen if this all ends? Will they go back to thinking about their bleak future, spending their empty schedules in the company, waiting for anything to happen?

 

Sure, everyone loved them now and even Nu’est was getting the attention they’d been seeking but what if it all comes to a stop when Minhyun comes back? What if their fans leave them?

 

Dozens of thoughts flooded his mind and he couldn’t stop the bubbling sob coming up his throat, biting his lips as he tries to suppress the sounds when he notices footsteps on the slightly opened door before the figure decides to sit on the side. Minhyun knew it was Seongwoo. The ends of his pajama were peeking on the door.

 

And maybe all he needed was someone’s presence to let him know that crying was okay and that he was being sensible—these days he doesn’t even know what’s what and what’s not.

 

Seongwu was comforting him, no exchange of words was needed.

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyun wakes up to Seongwoo snuggling against him, head on the crook of his neck, hand and foot thrown over at his waist, their naked bodies pressed together. He cranes his neck to look at the time, blaming his body clock for it’s strict pattern before turning his head to Seongwoo; lifting a hand up to poke at his cheek, chuckling when the latter groans.

 

Ignoring it, Minhyun shifts his body to the side, the latter’s neck moving to his arm, and his limbs tightening on Minhyun’s. He smiles at the way he scrunches his brows up, “Stop moving.” Seongwoo mutters.

 

“Jisung-hyung’s going to kill us.” He places a kiss on Seongwu’s crown, remembering the first time they did it, awkward limbs, cautious touches, questions of assurance. Minhyun didn’t think he had it in him to be forward. Maybe it was because Seongwoo was so beautiful that day, even more than normal, eyes shimmering in delight as their first concert was a success, telling him how proud he was of Minhyun, of everyone, hugging him tighter and longer and peppering him with kisses. He was so exited, so beautiful, and knowing he was his… He had asked Sungwoon if he could change rooms with him, taking in the judgment and teasing from Jaehwan and Woojin who had heard their conversation. (“ _Finally_ ” Daniel mutters, swooping in to kiss Jihoon. Daehwi had gagged at them).

 

Seongwoo was surprised to see him that time, brows furrowed, hands stopped drying his hair, body covered in nothing but a bathrobe. “Forgot something?” he asked. Minhyun doesn’t even remember if he answered him that time, lips bitten in nervousness as he marches in big strides, hands quickly coming up to his neck, and lips molding against surprised ones. It didn’t take long for Seongwoo to respond, hands making a mess out of his hair, towel forgotten and breath ragged.

 

It was awkward, he had to shut Seongwoo up with a kiss at one point because he was talking about how he should feel honoured to be _deflowering_ him (“What the hell?” he cringes in embarrassment) but Minhyun wouldn’t trade it for anything.

 

“I’m sure we have enough time to sleep more.” Seongwoo whines a little. They do but Minhyun wanted to kiss him.

 

“I’ll make you breakfast?” he tries, placing kisses on his temples.

 

Seongwoo pushes himself inches away from him, looking up, a slight scowl on his sleepy yet otherwise beautiful face. “You can’t even cook to save yourself.” He mutters, “Just tell me you want attention.”

 

Minhyun doesn’t deny it and smiles when Seongwoo inches forward, lips on top of his.

 

 

 

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Seongwoo asks for the nth time, eyebrows furrowed and lips slightly jutted. “Nope,” Minhyun answers, smile almost slipping on his stoic face.

 

“Are you sure?” Seongwoo asks again, elevator already near his floor. “You said you wanted to eat.” Minhyun did. But teasing Seongwoo was adorable. He didn’t think he was even capable of teasing the latter, snarky and always have a comeback to everything-Seongwoo would look at him in confusion whenever he does.

 

 _Cute_. He thought, looking at Seongwoo from the reflection on the elevator, door opening. “Well,” he pulls him by the collar, a chaste kiss on his lips before he turns on his heel.

 

“You’re really not going to eat?” Seongwoo calls out once again, he waves his hand goodbye.

 

Later that night, he orders food and rings the doorbell, Seongwoo opens the door in casual clothing, a pout adjourning his lips before widening in surprise. “What…” he trails, looking down on the bags of food Minhyun was carrying. “What the hell is that?”

 

“Food.” Minhyun grins.

 

“You said you wouldn’t eat.” Seongwoo opens the door wider, letting him in. They pass by the others lounging on the couch, Jinyoung nodding at him before turning his attention back to the movie.

 

Placing the food on the counter, he turns to look at Seongwoo who had a light scowl on his face, tugging him by the loose string of his shorts. “Surprise?” he grins, giving him a peck.

 

“I hope you know you’re annoying.” Seongwoo mumbles, rolling his eyes before pushing his face away, Minhyun laughs at him. “I’m starving.”

 

 

 

 

Minhyun wasn’t a jealous person.

 

At least, he doesn’t think he was. Sure, he may have just went out with one girl in high school, may have had a fling or two after debut, but he didn’t think he was jealous. The flings he had were from girl groups too, meaning interaction with the opposite sex was inevitable.

 

That didn’t bother him at all, it was work; he was professional.

 

But seeing Seongwoo a few meters away from him, smile on his lips, laughing and eyes crinkled as he talks to a group of girls he doesn’t recognize, maybe he was a tad bit jealous. Jealous at the way they could casually touch him, hand on his arm as they steady themselves from laughing, jealous at the way people were giving them this look—this look like they approve of whatever was happening.

 

Jinyoung had snorted at him when he passed by, rolling his eyes as me mutters. “Stop looking like you’ve been been abandoned, hyung.” Minhyun had poked him by the ribs then, eliciting a laugh from the latter and catching Seongwoo’s attention.

 

Seongwoo sends him a smile and a lift of an eyebrow. _I love you_.

 

Minhyun laughs at how stupid he was being, everybody loved Seongwoo, that was a fact, it wasn’t a wonder that everyone wanted to talk to him.

 

And Seongwoo loved Minhyun just as much as he loved him, and that was all he needed for assurance.

 

He peppers him with more kisses that night, laughing at the way he turns red when their manager catches them who cringes as he sees it for the nth time.

 

 

 

Minhyun is dumb when he panics.

 

So dumb that sometimes he asks himself how he survives questions of who his ideal type was, of what he thinks of this and that, of explaining things. So dumb he starts to wonder why Seongwoo was going out with him.

 

It was one of those afternoon where they didn’t have a schedule, already finished with the world tour and chuseok right around the corner—the company gave them a break when Seongwoo had decided to take him by surprise, pulling away from the kiss and making him groan. “Want to meet my parents?” he asked.

 

He blinks, once, twice. “What?”

 

“My parents want to meet you.” Seongwoo repeats it.

 

“They what?” his eyes widen, “Why?” Minhyun met them twice, during the final show and that time when his parents visited him. They were still ignoring each other that time, tight smile on their faces. “Because they want to meet the person I’m dating?” Seongwoo tilts his head, “I’m convinced my sister just wants to see you though.”

 

“Wait,” Minhyun chokes out, “They know we’re dating?”

 

Seongwoo frowns at him, “Of course, they do. Didn’t you already introduced me to your family too? I told mine the moment we began dating.”

 

“But didn’t you tell me you were only going to introduce your parents when you were _sure_?” He recalls Seongwoo’s somnolent words back when they were in the produce 101 dorms, taking someone to meet his parents was the end game—he’d have to make sure that they were the one.

 

Seongwoo raises an eyebrow, “But I am?”

 

“You are?” Minhyun squeaks out.

 

“You aren’t?”

 

“Of course, I am.” Minhyun answers.

 

“Then why are you asking?”

 

“I don’t know.” He covers his face, trying to stop himself from smiling and cowering away from Seongwoo’s amused grin. “I panicked, okay. I thought—“ Seongwoo tugs on his wrists. “We’re end game, dummy.” Minhyun groans in embarrassment, “Stop it, I said I panicked.”

 

Minhyun turns his head away from him, bottom lip bitten. He could feel Seongwoo laughing against him. “I’d love to.” He mumbles, almost inaudible.

 

“What was that?” Seongwoo teases.

 

He doesn’t reply and instead playfully glares at him, craning his neck to continue what was interrupted.

 

 

 

 

Sungwoon turns his eyes into slits as he looks at them, “We’re in public.” Minhyun laughs at him, raising his hand. It was one of those free days again, the three of them eating out and meeting friends. “Seriously don’t know why you guys still insists on eating _with_ me.” He mutters, hands busy as he turns over the meat. “Nobody’s going to think you’re on a date.” He stops, “Actually, everyone would but they’d probably be happy about it.” He gives them at them.

 

Minhyun rolls his eyes, chuckling as he remembers stumbling on a few—actually, a dozen—accounts on twitter, speculating every little skinship they both did, hyping the moments they forget they were alone on stage, eyes staring at each other far too long and faces inches apart for whispers of I love you.

 

“We insists because we actually like the company, hyung.” Seongwoo rolls his eyes, unconsciously lifting his hand to wipe the sauce on the corner of Minhyun’s  “Also because you have too many friends and that means many friend discounts.”

 

Sungwoon scowls at him. “Stop flirting and reminding people they’re single.”

 

Minhyun laughs at the way Seongwoo’s eyes widen at the realization, face already reddening. He takes his hand under the table and gives him a squeeze before turning his attention to Sungwoon, grinning, “Aren’t you and—“

 

“Continue that sentence and you will pay for us.” Sungwoon says through gritted teeth.

 

They both laugh at him.

 

 

 

 

“You seem happier.” Jonghyun tells him one night, pushing Seongwoo by the face as he tries to take his phone. “Let me talk to him too, you coward.” He mutters, Minhyun rolls his eyes at him, turning the speaker on.

 

“Sorry, what was that?” he asks, settling the phone on the side table, taking Seongwoo’s free hand, interlocking their fingers. “I said,” Jonghyun started, “stop calling me just to flirt.” Minhyun chuckles, Seongwoo lets his laugh echo in the four corners of their dorm.

 

He was happier.

 

Everything was going smoothly. Sure, December was near and there were times where he’d lie awake worrying about the possibilities of everything just being a dream but his friends were there to assure him, Daniel had even rolled his eyes at him, “If you’re worried, what would that make me?” he mutters. Daniel and Jihoon had finally said their first I love you’s. (Not really a shocker at this point.) and Jisung and Jonghyun would continually assure him that everything was going to work out—not perfect, but almost.

 

And Seongwoo was there to kiss his worries away, tracing circles on his back and telling him he was dumb and he was _here_ ; Minhyun mutters I love you’s with every kisses he gives him everytime—on the tip of his nose, his temple, his cheeks, and finally his lips.

 

“Yeah,” he answers Jonghyun, looking at Seongwoo and lifting his hand to place a kiss on it. “I am. Very much” Jonghyun chuckles, ignoring Aron’s feint teasing from the other side, shifting his body as he pulls Seongwoo for a kiss, the other laughing as he falls on top of him, hair all over his face and grin on his lips, face flushed. “I love you.” He whispers, looking at him in the eye as he pushes Seongwoo’s hair away from his face. “I love you.” He repeats, “So much.”

 

Seongwoo lifts his hand and holds him by the cheeks, giving him a peck. “I love you too.” He scrunches his nose a little, “So much.”

 

Minhyun ignores the chorused groans, hand fumbling for his phone, muttering a goodbye and tossing his phone to the side. Jonghyun would definitely tell Jisung how disgusting they were but he couldn't be bothered to care, not right now at least. “I don’t think we should cuddle here.” Minhyun tells him, looking at Seongwoo. “Yeah?”

 

“Guanlin will kill us.” Minhyun laughs remembering guanlin’s shriek from seeing them making out on the kitchen counter. “They won’t be home till later.” Seongwoo envelops him in a tight hug, “and I don’t wanna move.”

 

He smiles, nuzzling his neck. “Great.” He places a kiss on the crevice of his neck, chuckling at the way Seongwoo squirms away from him, “I don’t either.”

 

Minhyun maybe a little too anxious at times, gotten a little too clingy, pushes himself too hard, couldn’t sleep without a goodnight kiss, and worried about everything that might happen.

 

But Seongwoo was there to tell him how dumb he was and that’s all it matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When i said i'd write Minhyun's perspective i thought i'd post it right away....... Better late than never lol

**Author's Note:**

> tbh idk if ill write a mini sequel (hopefully not a 13k one) but i'll keep you posted on twitter or something~


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